Jeff Weintraub: “Life Reeked with Joy” Thanks to Norm for the link to this. The celebration of howlers is a regular feature of the educational end of term calendar. What’s great about this is that the writer has constructed a chronological narrative out of it.
I sent this to a colleague, who fired back a classic:
“In 1066, a man named Norman Conquest came to England and brought lots of French words with him.” (that’s from a first year undergraduate essay…)
Of course, I once did come across Mr and Mrs Conquest’s little boy Norman, but that will start us off on the barmy names thread again…
Selling Educashun :: Austin Mitchell’s WeBLOG :: Austin Powered
Austin Mitchell’s blog (thanks, Nogbad) uncovers what we already knew anyway – that the way Labour operate is all about presentation and nothing about substance. The “tool kit” with pre-prepared quotes for press releases is risible – or at least would be if it wasn’t frightening. I can recall a time not so long ago when people like Blair would have condemned such tactics as reminiscent of a fascist, control-freak state apparatus…
Here‘s another brilliant Owen Barder spoof. Can’t help feeling the BBC must be a bit miffed at what he does, especially as here it’s their product he’s using. Great idea, perfectly executed.
So who decided that George Best should have a state funeral? Because that’s what it was, with the thousands of mourners, the wall-to-wall live coverage on the TV, the endless stories in today’s newspapers, all with obligatory quotes about how George was the people’s prince…
The grief fest that, post-Diana, now seems obligatory, will obviously lead to a progressive upping of the stakes as more famous folk die. It seems to me that we can expect similar scenes when the following shuffle off their mortal coil:
Sir Thumbs Aloft (but not Ringo)
Lord Attenborough (but not David)
Sir Elton John
Sir Bobby Charlton
Sir Michael Jagger (but not Keef, who is clearly indestructible anyway)
Sir Trevor McDonald
Joan Collins
Lord Lloyd-Webber (but not Julian, or Tim Rice)
Any more?
Barter Books – Gift Shop
Kat has posted recently about mottoes. This seems a good one to me. A snippet in the Guardian sent me there. Seems like a very apt motto for these troubled times. It’s a great bookshop too…
BBC NEWS | In Pictures | In pictures: Spoof signs
This is a neat idea – and just ready for the Christmas (sorry, Winterval) market. There’s a pleasing air of the surreal about them, which makes them more entertaining than the real signs you see around you. My recent “real” favourite is one that says “Danger – possible wet and slippery surface”. This is posted at the entrance to the showers in the gym…
I note that the beatification of George Best lasted all of 24 hours. One of today’s tabloid “newspapers” alleges that he had at least two “secret” children. Given his lifestyle, are we surprised? Does it matter? No, and no.
Meanwhile, the floral tributes pour in, and a Diana-like mountain of flowers, pictures, scarves etc grows outside Old Trafford. Toddlers whose parents were too young ever to have seen Best play are being pushed forward to add their teddy bear or posy. It’s nauseating.
Best was a great footballer – one of the all time greats. His death is sad, though hardly unexpected, and hardly otherwise remarkable. I wonder how many other fifty something alcoholics died the other day? Best’s memory was ill served at the end by the ghoulish bulletins from outside the hospital – Best not dead yet, Best still not dead – reminiscent of the rolling news coverage of the Pope’s death – and by the tacky souvenir pull-outs when he finally did succumb.
Who’s next for the maudlin flower show? We seem locked into a cycle of excessive public grief when a famous person dies, though unable as a society to sort out the misery and pain that surrounds us everywhere, and that we conveniently ignore.
BBC NEWS | Education | Term-time working ‘lowers grades’ The department of the bleeding obvious has clearly been working overtime of late. I suppose the statistics will be useful in the debate about student funding, but surely no-one can be surprised by this?
This morning, like most other Sunday mornings, I bought my Sunday paper (the Observer, since you ask) at our local newsagent. As on every other occasion I have bought a paper there, he asked if I wanted a bag for it. As always, I declined – I’ve given up pointing out the waste this habit causes. When I said, months ago, that I didn’t want a bag, and what’s more, they might consider the environmental consequences of offering a bag to everyone, he looked at me as if I was mad.
The use of plastic bags in this country is a disgrace. In other European countries, it is routine (as of course it used to be here) to go shopping with a sturdy shopping bag. Plastic bags are very much the last resort. German stores always sell very cheap, but durable canvas bags for people without a shopping bag. In Ireland, you can have a bag, but you pay for it – the result is that plastic bag use in supermarkets has declined – people use proper bags, or reuse their old plastic ones. Litter is reduced, as is the number of bags going to landfill.
The UK government considered such a scheme three years ago, but obviously decided it had more important things to do, even though the supermarkets were in favour. Maybe the supermarkets should just do it anyway- there must be some forum where the suits from Tesco, Sainsbury’s, Asda and the rest meet up. Why can’t they just agree that they will henceforth charge 10p a bag? And why not commit the profit from that charge to environmental schemes? Then they could show they had a conscience, benefit the environment, feel good about themselves, and it would cost them nothing.
Britain, UK news from The Times and The Sunday Times – Times Online:
Another despatch from the department of the bleeding obvious. It clearly was a very onerous task to discover that “high street cafes are convivial places where people go to enjoy others’ company.” Who knew? I always go to to them to play ice hockey. I feel a couple of research proposals coming on:
1) to investigate the reasons why people go to pubs. This will involve a two year longitudinal study of human interaction in public houses. Researchers will be committed to spending at least twenty hours a week in pubs in order to conduct their research.
2) to investigate the impact of personal income on restaurant choice. This will involve visiting a large number of restaurants, especially the more expensive ones, and interviewing people about the amount of money they have spent. Researchers will be obliged to eat at these restaurants to conduct covert investigations of the subjects.