Thankless task…
Bush takes a swing at cricket in Pakistan – Yahoo! News UK
It’s bad enough trying to explain cricket to the average intelligent American…
What O’Donnell should have said…
OMB NEWS | UK | UK Politics | In Full: Tessa Jowell inquiry letter
Of course, Owen Barder does it with his customary style.
Jowellgate continued
BBC NEWS | UK | Tessa Jowell splits from husband
Interesting that this has happened now. Am I just terminally cynical, or is this a case of a marriage being sacrificed for a ministerial career?
It wasn’t me…
There’s an episode of The Simpsons, where Bart’s instant denial of wrong doing – “It wasn’t me, I didn’t do it” etc. leads to a brief spell of fame, as his catchphrase catches on. The standard Labour government minister’s catchphrase must be “I didn’t know”, with the occasional “I wasn’t aware”, “I don’t recall” and so on. Consider: Tessa Jowell “wasn’t aware” that her husband had paid off their mortgage with a £300,000 “gift”. Similarly, Mr Tony “didn’t know” that the fragrant Cherie had splashed out £250,000+ on a luxury flat for their son. Jack Straw “couldn’t recall” why he had written “Zola Budd” in the margin of some papers about the Hinduja brothers’ application for citizenship. Peter Mandelson “wasn’t aware” that he should have declared his loan from a fellow minister to buy a bijou London property. John Prescott’s failure to pay eight years’ worth of council tax on one of his many homes was “an oversight”. And so it goes. This government was elected on the promise of honesty, transparency, plain dealing. You’ll permit me a hollow laugh…
…and relax…
The scene – our local Thresher (tip: only go there if you are buying three bottles of wine, as their pricing structure is based on 3 for 2, which works out at about supermarket prices) Two women of about 20 are in front of me. They have clearly dashed out from their workplace, because they are both wearing some kind of uniform under their coats. I can make out the words spa and relaxation on, curiously, their trousers, so I’m guessing they work in some sort of beauty parlour.
Woman number 1 is on her mobile to a friend -“We’ve had to come out to the booze shop. There’s 50 clients in there, and we’ve run out of drink. So we’ve just dashed in here to get some, and then we’ll be back.” She pays for her purchases whilst still on the phone. What did she buy? One bottle of rose Lambrusco and two cartons of orange juice. I bet the 50 clients appreciated that…
Get your red pens out now…
Richard and Judy Summer reads – read extracts of all them Free: “False Impression is Jeffrey Archer’s latest pacy thriller that no fan should miss and you can win one of five uncorrected proofs.” Presumably there’s a prize of a book by a real author if you do all the corrections…
Health and Safety
BBC NEWS | England | Manchester | 21 rescued after floor collapses
They should have done a risk assessment first…
Ties that bind
BBC NEWS | Health | Doctor ties ‘to go in MRSA fight’
So all doctors are men, apparently?
Bloody Hell!
This is another of Owen Barder’s fantastic spoofs – trouble is, they are getting ever closer to reality. I think we are arriving at a point where the government will be beyond parody…
Trouble at t’Mill
BBC NEWS | Education | Academics vote for strike action
Well, it had to happen. Don’t you think Jocelyn Prudence is the perfect name for the employers’ negotiator?