The sublime Ella

In 1970-71, I had a Saturday job at a grocer’s on Oldham Street, Manchester. The shop, and the small chain it belonged to – Maypole – have long gone, of course, but when I bought some CDs yesterday, I was reminded of it. My wage, for a nine-hour day, was 25s, (£1.25) less 5d for my insurance stamp, so I took home 24s 7d, in a brown envelope, usually two ten-shilling notes, two florins, a sixpence and a penny. I remember going out in my lunch hour to buy an LP, probably Paul McCartney‘s first post-Beatles effort. It cost me 39s/11d, and would have cost that wherever I bought it because of retail price maintenance. So, for my younger reader, that’s all but £2. In other words, Sir Thumbs Aloft’s magnum opus cost me about as much as I earned in one and three-quarter days. If I were 16 now, I would have to be paid at least the minimum wage, which Dr Broon and his pals have currently fixed at £3.57 per hour, so I’d have been making about £30 for a day spent lugging boxes of tinned peas up from the cellar, swabbing down surfaces, making tea for my superiors, and so on. If I chose to spend this largesse on those quaintly old-fashioned CDs that old people have, even at top prices, I could afford three with my day’s pay, and more if I bought at the frequently available discount. In effect, then, my labour would buy at least five times the product it would have bought in 1970. What’s more, LPs, because of the restrictions of the vinyl format, rarely contained much more than about half – an – hour’s music: five or six three minute tracks per side. A forty – minute running time was rare. So with CDs routinely clocking in at an hour or more, I estimate that my day’s wage now would be worth about eight times the amount of music it was worth then. If I downloaded, instead of buying the compact shaving – mirrors, I could probably double that. Music can never have been as cheap as it is now.
In Fopp yesterday, I spent a massive £7 – two hours’ minimum wage for a 16 year old – on two items. The first, costing the same as I spent nearly forty years ago on McCartney, was a double reissue of Count Basie’s two albums from the late fifties, The Atomic Mr Basie and the live album of Quincy Jones tunes, One More Time.

My other purchase, for £5, was the complete Ella Fitzgerald Sings Gershwin, from the songbook series. This was originally issued as five LPs, and is now presented as 3 CDs, each with about 20 tracks, so the cost is about eight of your earth pence per track. For that, you get Ella on absolutely sensational form, singing some of the all-time great songs from the Gershwin catalogue: “A Foggy Day”, “But Not For Me”, “Nice Work If You Can Get It”, “I’ve Got A Crush On You”, “How Long Has This Been Going On”, “Strike Up The Band”, “They All Laughed”, “Fascinating Rhythm”, “Embraceable You”….She recorded this in her forties, when she was arguably at the peak of her powers, and she soars effortlessly over the swinging Nelson Riddle arrangements. It is sublime.
Both of these buys are new reissues from a company I’d not heard of before, the curiously named Not Now Music, from that hotbed of popular song, er, West Hampstead. They’ve done a great job here, so next time I have a few spare shillings, I’ll be on the lookout for more.


One Day


This is the kind of book that I don’t normally read. It is a book group choice, heavily discounted on the shelves of the supermarket, and promoted through its own website. But I heard the author David Nicholls interviewed on the radio, and he seemed a very engaging cove, so when I saw the book at a ludicrously cheap price in the supermarket, I thought I’d give it a go.
I’m glad I did. Nicholls has had success before it seems, having written a bestseller that passed me by, and episodes for a “programme” that may be viewed on Mr Baird’s televisual apparatus. On this occasion, he has written a quirky love story whose central conceit is that, rather as in The Good Soldier, all the major events happen on a particular day. We first meet the protagonists on the night of their graduation on St Swithin’s Day, 1988, and revisit them on that day each year after that until 2008. Emma is a clone of the persona Lucy Mangan presents in her Guardian column: sassy, northern, funny, but consumed with self-doubt. Dexter is the middle-class loafer who has drifted through his degree, and whose ego never allows him to realise how fortunate he is. After a one-night stand, the two agree to remain friends, and we encounter them as they make their way through late Thatcherism and into the Blair years. Em has a succession of awful jobs before ending up as a teacher. The hilarious account of life as a waitress in a Mexican restaurant will put you off your enchilladas for a while. Dex lucks into a career as a vapid TV presenter, all Mockney accent and laddishness. The structure allows a kind of annual report on the vicissitudes of their lives, and affords also a running social history of the last twenty years. That’s the book’s great strength, to my mind: its sharply observed vignettes of popular culture and and fashion, from lattes to boutique hotels, from Islington’s yummy mummies to the cult of the DJ. It presents a very recognisable and at times painfully accurate portrait of the nation we have become in the last quarter-century.
The tone is often jokey, veering from first to third person, with much interior monologue, and you get a real sense of the developing sensibilities and preoccupations of the main characters. There’s also an ending which I didn’t see coming, and which knocked me for six. Definitely a cut above what you might expect, given the ghastly front cover and torrent of endorsements on the endpapers from such authorities as Heat and Jenny Colgan. Recommended!


They Still Don’t Get It


Ex-minister Stephen Byers is caught out demanding £5,000 a day – a day!- for securing access to government ministers and influencing policy on behalf of clients. Other friends of Tony are similarly caught bang to rights prostituting themselves for fat fees. Can anything illustrate better the moral bankruptcy of the political class in this country than Byers’s pathetic excuse: he was lying. So now we’ve reached the point where mendacity is seen as a perfectly reasonable position to adopt when you’re exposed as a moneygrubbing, amoral, unprincipled shit. And they wonder why we have no faith in our elected representatives.
Image: Kodama


Rap it up


Is writing an email to Radio 4 the modern equivalent of an outraged of Tunbridge Wells-type letter to the Maily Torygraph? Possibly. I was moved to fire off an email yesterday whilst listening to the Saturday Live programme, usually with the delightful Fi Glover, but this week presented by the creepy Rev. Richard Coles(he always insists on the Rev., I notice) whose bizarre career has taken him from gay pop icon in The Communards and Bronski Beat to a comfortable living in the Anglican High Church surroundings of Knightsbridge.
The guest on the show was Dreda Say Mitchell, writer and teacher, now working also as an educational consultant. She is clearly a formidable woman who has achieved a lot (“Listen to my inspirational interview with Jenni Murray on Woman’s Hour”)and I have no problem, as another listener did, with her glottal stops. She has deeply held, sincere beliefs about education, which she promotes with vigour and charm. What had me reaching for the keyboard was her insistence that a good way of engaging disaffected working class boys – particularly white boys – was to use rap in the classroom. I’ve used the tired and frankly juvenile line that “the c in rap is silent” too often to use it again -oh, I just did – but I do wonder why this violent, misogynistic and often illiterate form is considered appropriate. So I asked the question, and the oleaginous Rev Coles read it out. Mitchell’s answer was along the lines that this is a form that they like and it engages them. Well, I knew that. They listen to it all the time, on their phones and ipods, often making other people’s lives on buses, trains and in the street a lot less pleasant as a result. Shouldn’t school offer something different from what they experience every day outside?
I know a bit about teaching disaffected white boys (and black boys and Asian boys) from fifteen years in secondary school teaching, and this advocacy of rap reminds me of the debate on “relevance” when I was training. The idea was that to get young people interested in reading, you had to present them with stories about people like them, leading difficult lives in modern urban settings. Thus, a slew of books about truanting inner-city kids with alcoholic mums and absent dads appeared to fill this niche, and were quickly forgotten. The biggest success story in children’s literature of recent years – of any years – is of course Harry Potter, a series which, as we all know, presents the gritty reality of life in twenty-first century Britain…
I also wonder what happens to the class after they have rapped away with Ms Mitchell. Pity the poor teacher who follows, and who has to teach them the past tense in French or the properties of hydrogen. And what, exactly, do they learn through rapping? They can do it anyway, and they know more about it than their teacher ever will. If school is about expanding horizons, as Dreda Mitchell and I agree, then surely we should offer the children something outside their ordinary experience?
Image: Nite Owl


End of civilisation as we know it


In 1973, when I went to university as an undergraduate, there were no open days. You were invited for interview, and maybe someone would show you round. Or not. Certainly, no parents would go, and anyone of my generation would have been mortified to be accompanied by parents on this very adult enterprise. Not so now, of course. At our open days, there are frequently more parents than students, and it’s the parents who tend to dominate the question and answer sessions. The most frequently asked question when I am performing is “what can my son/daughter do with an English degree?” I usually answer by agreeing that studying the Victorian novel or seventeenth century poetry is not, in itself, going to open any doors for them, but that the attributes they will acquire through diligent study and participation on their degree programme will be useful in a wide variety of careers. I often throw in an anecdote about a big cheese from a giant multinational computer company who visited the campus a few years ago. “I don’t care what degree subjects they have,” he said, “we can teach them all they need to know about computers in our training sessions. What I need are confident, articulate people, who can communicate well, who can work in teams and on their own initiative, who can write clearly and produce the goods under pressure, who can be organised and intelligent in their approach to work.” Which is, I point out to the parents, exactly the range of attributes we seek to instil in our students. I also add that an instrumental view of a degree programme misses the sheer pleasure of broadening horizons, discovering new ideas – of becoming culturally informed, not for any pecuniary reward or because of a job it might lead to, but to make you a better person- better informed, better educated, better placed to enjoy your life.
So I am dismayed at the current proposals to cut funding to humanities courses in the UK, at the behest of Lord Mandelson. We now have a government which doesn’t even have a department with the word “Education” in its title, and where HE is subsumed within the Business empire of the dark lord. Thus, courses which don’t have a vocational bent are to be sneered at: golf course management is better than History.
The great and the good of the world of scholarship have expressed their anger at this philistine and ruinous policy in a letter to the Observer. Here’s a taste:
The challenges facing the country and the world cannot be addressed without the arts and humanities. People’s complexity comes from their language, identities, histories, faiths and cultures. Without understanding that complexity we cannot address these challenges. Subjects such as literature, philosophy and history teach students to look at the world from a different perspective, to challenge ideas and to communicate effectively, to bring the flexibility and imagination that employers need and welcome.
We have already had the fatuous introduction of so-called “impact” into the Research Assessment Exercise (or “Research Excellence Framework” as we must now call it). Stefan Collini said all that needed to be said about that nonsense in this brilliant demolition job. Here’s a section, but you should really read the whole thing:
Let us take a hypothetical case. Let us assume that I have a colleague at another university (not all colleagues are in one’s own department, despite the league-table competitiveness of these assessment exercises) who is a leading expert on Victorian poetry, and that over a number of years she works on a critical study of what we might call a three-star Victorian poet (“highly innovative but not quite groundbreaking”). The book is hailed by several expert reviewers as the best on the topic: it draws on deep familiarity not just with Victorian poetry, but with other kinds of poetry; it integrates a wealth of historical and biographical learning in ways that illuminate the verse; it is exact and scrupulous in adjudicating various textual complexities; and it clarifies, modifies, and animates the understanding of this poet’s work on the part of other critics and, through their writing and teaching, of future generations of students, as well as of interested general readers. It also, it is worth saying, exemplifies the general values of careful scholarship and reminds its readers of the qualities of responsiveness, judgement, and literary tact called upon by the best criticism. It is a model piece of “excellent” research in the humanities. And its “impact” is zero.

Of course, in any intelligent use of the word, its impact is already evident from my description of its reception, but that, as we have seen, is explicitly excluded for this purpose. Moreover, any other kind of impact is only going to be credited to my colleague’s department if it can be shown to be the direct result of its own efforts. So if, say, the Departmental Impact Committee can be shown to have touted their colleague’s new “findings” to a range of producers in radio and television, and if, say, one of those producers takes an interest in this particular work, and if, say, this leads to a programme which bears some relation to the “findings” of the book (which, if they are interesting, can probably not be summarized as “findings” in the first place), and if, say, there is some measurable indicator of audience response to this programme, then, perhaps, the department’s score will go up slightly. And if not, not.

Let us leave aside for the moment the very considerable expenditure of time and effort any such process involves (often for no result), and let us also leave aside the fact that there is no reason to expect a literary scholar to be good at this kind of hustling and hawking.
As we approach May 6th, please ask your prospective candidate for the general election what his or her views are on funding for research in the humanities, and take the answer into account when you vote.
Image: Kairos-77


Thomson Loco

A little while ago, in a fit of new year uncluttering, I signed up via a facebook group to a campaign to stop junk mail. Their website is a treasure trove of advice on how to stop the deluge of unsolicited junk that arrives on a daily basis. I used their web widget to get rid of junk mail from a variety of sources, and it is certainly making a difference.
Then, yesterday, came this:

So, Mr Meikle with the showbiz signature, you think that, instead of simply crossing my address off the list of houses you are going to dump your useless directory on, I should deface my front door with a 6″ by 4″ sticker in your corporate colours to prevent your operative delivering something once a year? It seems their response to a request to stop sending me junk is… to send me some junk. Here’s the offending sticker:

I shall be contacting Mr Meikle, and will report back.
Update, 1st March. Reply from Thomson:
Thank you for your email. The stickers are offered as an option to make it easier for our distributors to identify a non-delivery household. Naturally, we respect your choice not use the sticker and will add your address to our list for non-delivery.

Thank you for your enquiry,

Yours sincerely,

Yo. Green
Hmmm – how will they know my address, since I’ve communicated by email? Not very convincing is it?
Top image: Fiasco


Writers Bureau revisited


Slack blogging around here since Christmas. Sorry about that- pressure of work, and a trip to a snowy Munich are to blame. You can see the view towards Odeonsplatz from the Englischer Garten in the new header – schön, oder?
It seems that Topsyturvydom’s glorious victory against the mighty Writers Bureau was not the unalloyed success it first appeared to be. I’m grateful to Padraig Colman for his excellent and detailed account of the, er, service they provide. Padraig is clearly an accomplished writer, as his work on Sri Lanka shows, so it is a concern that his experience was so dispiriting – but not really a surprise. My attention was drawn to a defensive piece by a Writers Bureau tutor, Nick Daws, who, whilst agreeing that the school’s publicity was misleading, says that “The Writers Bureau is a reputable organisation which in general offers a good service to its students” and finds them merely “lazy” in their inflated and erroneous claims. Padraig and I, and a number of other students, might differ with the author of Write any Book in Under 28 Days (what, really? Like, you know, Ulysses and stuff? Cool!)
There is a school of thought that suggests that writing, particularly of the creative ilk, can’t really be taught. Here’s A.L. Kennedy on that issue, and, as always with her, it’s worth reading.
Image: Busymonster


What are the chances?


At the top of this page, you’ll see a “next blog” button, and clicking it takes you to a random blog. In an idle moment, I clicked yesterday, and on the third click, was presented with a blog I didn’t know, but which was written by someone I do know, and featured pictures of many people I know. Since, according to this, there are currently 133,000,000 blogs – and OK, Blogger is only one platform, but probably the biggest – what are the chances of this happening? And should I buy a lottery ticket this week?


Old Lags


To the Martin Harris Centre, for an event with Martin Amis, one of a series that exists largely to justify his salary, I expect. The attraction for me was not so much Amis fils, but Clive James, who, since he’s now three-score years and ten, was considered to be a suitable candidate for a debate about ageing and literature. Ghoulishly, Clive’s old (in every sense of the word) sparring partner Peter Porter was too ill to attend. That didn’t matter of course, since Clive can talk enough for a dozen. Amis looked like an ageing roué, in a raffish Leslie Phillips sort of way. Clive eschewed the trademark leather jacket in favour of a black polo shirt disturbingly like the ones I habitually wear.
The two of them then both made opening statements. Amis pointed out that the forties were the time when you discovered mortality, but the fifties were when you discovered death. You look in the mirror, and you know death is interested, is intrigued by you…
His basic premise was that writers invariably declined as they got older. Mr Amis is 60.
Clive, working with no notes, and speaking far more fluently than Amis – who did have notes – refuted the Amis argument with a string of examples. What struck me about Clive is that he speaks in sentences, perfectly formed, balanced, with barely a pause or an erm or a y’know. It’s quite uncanny, really. There was some good knockabout stuff at the expense of Roth and Updike, but Clive insisted that even when youthful inspiration has gone, the craft remains to sustain the writer. He also confirmed what I have long suspected- that his recent prolificity is a conscious decision to get stuff out with time’s winged chariot in the background.
…and doesn’t Martin look exactly like his dad these days?
Update: Just read the review of two of Clive’s recent books in the current (Dec 18th) TLS. As Oliver Dennis says: “In what is surely the final phase of a glittering career, Clive James is busier than ever. No other contemporary writer is more aware of the ticking clock, or more likely – time permitting – to deliver on a promise.”
Further update: the podcast of the event is now available here.


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